Oh, For the Love of Sleep

An Ode to Sleep

Oh, dear sleep. How I have missed you. You left me about four or five years ago, and I am anxiously awaiting your return.

Without you, I turn into a monster--a red eyed, hair pulling, sleep-deprived beast who gets annoyed at the sound of her loved ones' deep (sleep-ridden) breathing. Without you, I can't help but become a broken record of the following thoughts: I only have three hours to sleep. Why can't I fall asleep? No point, I'll be awoken again in an hour, so why even try? But, an hour is better than nothing. I only have an hour to sleep. Why can't I fall asleep? No point, the day's going to begin any second... Over and over again.

Oh, I yearn for REM. I can remember a time when my sleep pattern wasn't so broken and REM would come and visit. REM always brought along some pleasant dreams... I can remember dreaming once. I even miss the talking in my sleep that would accompany my dreams. Sleep? Why did you go and leave me?

My choice, you say? Yes, I did decide to have children. What? Of course I love them! But, why does it have to be all or nothing with you? Can't I have both? No? Why not? Yes, I know I'll sleep again, someday. But, that's little consolation at 3 in the morning. Yes, I suppose they are worth it... but, can't they all learn to sleep more anyway? And, while we're having this discussion, can't my bladder go back to the way it was before I started having children so that when the kids aren't waking me, my bladder won't either?! Argg!