Three Zero - 30!

I'm thirty! 30! As in, three decades old!

I don't know how this happened. I don't know when this happened. How in the world did I turn into a thirty year old?!

It's silly, I know, but when I was growing up, I believed that thirty was the year I would turn into an old person. You know, my hair would be thinning, and I'd be sporting wrinkles even when I wasn't laughing.

I can remember when my mom turned thirty. Her friend, Holly, brought her over a poinsettia to our old house on Elm. I remember because Holly was wearing a tie with her blouse and I thought that was ugly. It was the '90's, so I guess that must have been the style. It's not that I thought my mom was old or anything. She was my mom, mom's were allowed to turn thirty. I just never imagined I would.

But I did. And, surprisingly, thirty isn't as old as I had always imagined. The funny thing is how fast time has sped up. It has tricked me in the sense that I still feel like I'm a seventeen year-old kid pretending to be a grown-up. So, now I wonder. What age will I magically turn old? Because it's not thirty.

Life at thirty is a lot like life at seventeen, only better. I'm still surrounded by people who love me (and I obviously love them, too). I can still do the splits (because that's a sure sign I've still got some youth in me). I can stand on my head for ten seconds before feeling like I'm going to faint. And, in case you were wondering, I still have all of my hair.

Yeah, in many ways, my life is still like what it was at seventeen, except it's more enriched. I'd like to think I've earned some wisdom. While I may not be able to run without feeling the urge to pee, and trampolines may be a thing of the past (as much as I'd hate to admit that), I love my life.

So, as I reflect on the years passed, here's a list of things I'd tell myself if I could go back in time to when I was in high school.

1. When you're tempted to cheat on the chemistry final, don't do it. You'll regret having cheated for many years to come. Instead of writing notes to your friends, pay attention. Earn the grade all by yourself so that you can honestly say that you gave your all.

2. Try out for track. You hate running now, but someday you'll come to enjoy it. You'll love watching your breath come out in small puffs in front you as you run in snowy weather. You'll find it mesmerizing and calming. Just because you've always done cheer doesn't mean you might not like something else more.

3. Your sisters really will always be there for you. Take time to be a little nicer to them. Hang out with them a little more. Your older sister will be out of the house before you know it.

4. Driver's ed may seem like a waste of time, but if you'd just pay attention, you'd save your husband much nagging in the future.

5. When you ditch school, make sure the coast is clear before climbing out of the back of Cami's trunk. That mean security guard, the woman that looks like a man on steroids, will be waiting to snatch you one day. Then, you'll have to spend two weeks in detention with some really scary looking teenagers.

6. Don't show off all of the time. It's okay if you have to share the limelight every once in a while. For goodness sake, it's okay if there's a picture without you in it. Let the birthday girl have her glory without you trying to steal it away.

7. When you go out on a date with that certain guy who you used to like but then you decided you liked his friend better, don't spend the date talking about the other guy. This will cause you some embarrassment the next day.

8. You know that list you keep about the qualities you want in your future husband? Your husband will have all of those qualities and more. He'll exceed your expectations.

9. You always wonder if your kids will be cute. They will. You'll think they're the cutest kids ever and you'll be right.

10. Be careful about what you write in your journal. You'll think that you're being very mature as you write about how much you love so and so. Those words will come back and bite you in the butt when your brother in law and your husband reads them. Those words will cause them to laugh for hours at your expense.

11. I wish you could give Marquis a hug and tell him to remember the name, Gavin. So that when he goes to Heaven he can tell Gavin that you love him.

12. When you get invited to that slumber party that you don't want to go to but you feel pressured into going to... don't go. Your friends will do bad things at that party and you'll be stuck calling one of your guy friends in the middle of the night to come pick you up and take you home.

13. Thank mom and dad for all that they do for you. You won't know it until you're a mom yourself, but mom spends all hours of the day sacrificing for you. Thank dad for making sure your tires are properly filled with air.

14. Don't dog on New Jersey. Your in laws will come from New Jersey and so will some really good friends. You'll love them like they had been your flesh and blood your whole life.

15. Don't cut your hair your senior year. Don't do it. You'll regret it, I promise.

16. Jamba juice has calories. A lot of them. Just because they're made with healthy ingredients doesn't mean you should have one every day.

17. Go hiking with dad. Learn to sew from mom.

18. Be careful about gossiping. It's not nice to gossip.

19. When you have the choice between swimming or looking pretty, jump in and swim. You can always reapply your mascara after you're done.

20. Be careful what you ask for. When you tell a boy to bring you back some California sand from his vacation, he probably will. Along with a long stem rose and a love letter. You'll have to break his heart later.

21. When you decide to stand through the sun roof as Cami drives you down your "old country road", make sure you keep your mouth closed when you smile. When a bug hits the back of your throat as your going 50 mph, you'll wish you had listened.

22. Don't set Lee up with Rachael. He's a good guy, she's got some issues, and dating her will cause him a lot of grief.

23. Listen to music that's good for you. Brittany Spears isn't a good role model.

24. In Brother Rossar's class, help Maggie out. I know it's fun to talk, but seminary should be a reverent place.

25. You know that short story you are writing? It's going to be torn to pieces fifteen years later. It's such an embarrassing, overly-dramatic piece of work. I'm just glad I shredded it before anyone else could read it. Do me a favor and shred it for me.

26. Someday you will love to work with your hands. Take a shop class.

27. When you're advised to drop out of math, don't do it. You'll need that knowledge in college. You're going to learn that the hard way.

28. Listen to your mom when she tells you that something doesn't feel right.

29. When the radio in your car breaks, don't leave the boom box on seat with the doors unlocked. You'll have two boom boxes stolen.

30. (And, just to see if anyone is still reading this...) Enjoy being able to sneeze without having to concentrate on crossing your legs. HAHA! Childbirth has some interesting side effects.

Well, I'm sure I'm full of all sorts of good advice for my teenage self, but a list of "30" seems fitting. So, until next time. Adieu.