Thoughts on Childbirth

So, my dad is writing a book.  I haven't read the book yet, though I am looking forward to it.  He had asked me if he should add anything to a section he had written that included childbirth.  I guess for a man who has never, nor will he ever, have the opportunity to experience childbirth firsthand, writing about it can seem a little foreign.

I helped him out, with probably a much longer response than he needed or perhaps had been necessary, but I responded.  I wanted that response included here, as a post for my daughters to read someday.  Maybe they will read it for preparation, or perhaps just for entertainment.  Anyway, these are my thoughts.

I thought it was a good description.  I'm glad you wrote in there that she thought she was dying.  That's exactly how I felt.  If you wanted to expound, you could talk more about how scared she was.  I was scared when I was in labor for the first time.  I was scared by the amount of pain, I had anxiety about the well-being of my baby and had to rely on the trust that I had in the medical staff.  I was scared that maybe I wasn't fully prepared to become a mother and yet the time had come regardless of how ill-prepared I felt for the task at hand.  For hours it felt as though my body had become a battlefield and it was a bit of an out of body experience for me.  The ebb and flow of labor was intense and my mind couldn't comprehend how much pain my body was equipped to handle.  I was amazed at how my body just kind of took over and knew what to do.  

I think that the transition period was the most scared I have ever been in my life.  That's when the pain is at it's highest.  A women's body will start to tremble and shake.  There is an intense sense of pressure and a burning sensation.  The best feeling comes when the baby is born and the placenta is delivered.  All at once, the pressure is GONE, and the pain has subsided some (though there are varying degrees of afterbirth pains).  It feels like an over-inflated balloon has just released the last remaining particle of air.  There is a feeling of relief that the whole of childbirth had been accomplished.  There is relief that everything turned out fine, and there is a sense of pride for what was endured.  There is exhaustion, too.  Lots and lots of exhaustion. Just FYI.  

I would maybe give more insight into how she felt once the baby was born, because really, that is perhaps the most sacred and beautiful experience that a woman can have.  All of the fear that I had had prior to holding my baby was swallowed up by the intense sense of love that I felt for that newborn child.  I realized that I would have gladly died on that delivery bed if that is what it took to give that baby life.  Somehow, my life was not as important as the life of another, and that is a feeling that is truly sacred.  

I held my breath whenever my baby held his breath.  I marveled at his features and watched in amazement as he opened his eyes and looked at me for the first time.  I had become a mother, the feeling of being ill-prepared had vanished.  After accomplishing childbirth, I felt I could accomplish anything, and I would do anything for that tiny baby.  He was mine, just as I was his.  I knew I needed him as much as he needed me.  It was a beautiful thing, love is a beautiful emotion.  Love is what conceived a child.  Love and sacrifice is what allowed that baby to grow.  And, with great love, accompanied by great pain, that baby was ushered into my arms straight from a celestial world.  In those sacred minutes after the birth of my first child, I was so thankful that I was a woman.  I was thankful to have been able to be apart of something so amazing and wonderful.  And that is the miracle of childbirth.  In spite of all of the pain and sacrifice, I knew then what I know now, and that is that I would gladly sign up for it again and again if it meant that I could feel that close to heaven once more.  

A baby, my baby, a product of love, changed me in every sense of the word.  My body has changed and still bears the marks to remind me that at one time my children and I were one.  My loose skin and altered belly button remind me of the selfless sacrifice that I endured so that I could be a vessel of life for another.  My body may not be perfect by worldly standards bearing such marks, but it is beautiful because of those marks.  Becoming a mother has not only changed me physically but spiritually as well.  The intense feelings for the well-being of another is a life-altering change for the better.  There truly are no words that could summarize such emotions, and each experience is unique, but those are some of my thoughts anyway.  :)